OPINION: When Will Our Children Start Killing Us?

By Valentine Obienyem

Before you scratch your head in perplexity, let me begin by affirming that patricide is not new in history. Though rare, documented evidence exists. Cases recorded in the Western world suggest killings motivated by the desire to inherit parental wealth; others arose from children retaliating against abusive parents. Severe mental illness, too, can lead to such tragedies.

Lately, in our society, we have seen – or watched on social media platforms  – children who kill their parents under the influence of drugs, of which we now have frighteningly many variants: Igbo, Cana, loud, Colorado, Molly, tramadol, codeine, skunk, mkpurummiri, crack cocaine, okuisinaja, methamphetamine, and various synthetic substances now circulating among youths.

There is also a new and dangerous scenario in town which, if unchecked, may in future lead to children killing their parents. I feel compelled to discuss this because, as Terence wrote many years ago: “Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto”  –  “I am human, and nothing human is alien to me.”

A great civilisation is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within. This is exactly at play among us.  One begins to wonder whether, in celebrating moral collapse as freedom, we are not gradually destroying ourselves from within.

There are many mothers on social media who have virtually lost all sense of restraint because of monetisation.  Lest Prof. Chinyere Stella Okunna reminds be that men also are guilty, let me confess that we are all involved. The easiest means of attracting traffic now seems to be through explicit sexual content. I will use one woman whose page I inadvertently came across as an example. I shall conceal her identity because the aim is not to destroy her, but to use her case for illustration.

The woman in question should be in her late twenties. She was married to a pastor and has two children from the marriage before their separation. She often elicited public sympathy by shedding tears over not being allowed to see her children after the separation.

Last week, she was all over social media celebrating the recent court ruling that granted her access to the children, inviting the public to rejoice with her and seeking consoling words from sympathisers who viewed her as a victim of cruelty and injustice.

The truth is that, if I were the judge, I would probably not have granted such access. From what she says, does, and posts on social media, she should be considered a danger to children. There is virtually nothing she does not say about the private parts of the body. Her utterances and conduct are too revolting to be repeated here.

I watched the first meeting with her children, who are still under ten and probably do not yet have access to social media. But what happens when they eventually do? By the time these children gain access to those platforms and see the irresponsibility of their mother, how will they feel? Has she reflected on the psychological trauma, humiliation, and loss of self-esteem this will certainly inflict on them? If the girl child becomes wayward, the refrain will quickly become: “Like mother, like daughter.”

Has she imagined a situation where one of the children confronts her with one of those disgraceful videos and asks, “Mummy, is this you?” Has she imagined hearing the devastating words: “Mummy, I hate you?”

No child who repeatedly watches such content from a parent will escape deep emotional conflict. And when these children get to secondary school or university, their peers, acting with the sometimes cruel recklessness associated with youth, will circulate those videos and pictures before them. They may get to the point where they avoid even ordinary disagreements with classmates for fear that their mother’s videos will be used against them.

When humiliation becomes unbearable, hatred may begin to grow. Such hatred, in extreme cases, can degenerate into violent resentment. A society that normalises reckless indecency without considering its consequences on children may, in the future, begin to reap tragic outcomes. Some children, out of a beclouded sense of anger and shame, may even take the extreme step of harming their parents for making life unbearable for them and subjecting them to ridicule. Patricide is noticed out.  Is this not a possibility?

What is even more disturbing is that many of these people are constantly encouraged by crowds of reckless admirers on social media who cheer every act of indecency in the name of “freedom” and “self-expression.” They urge them to “do what makes you happy,” without pausing to ask what becomes of the innocent children whose lives are tied to such public recklessness.

What kind of society applauds a mother gradually stripping her children of dignity before the entire world? What kind of freedom ignores responsibility, honour, and the emotional safety of children? Social media has created a dangerous culture where shame is now mistaken for boldness, vulgarity celebrated as confidence, and irresponsibility defended as empowerment.

Many of those clapping today will never bear the consequences tomorrow. They will not be there when the children battle humiliation in school, sink into depression, develop hatred toward their parents, or struggle with damaged self-worth. It is easy to type “Queen, keep shining” from behind a phone screen; it is the children who will carry the scars in real life.

A society that continuously normalises obscenity, mocks decency, and glorifies every excess in the pursuit of traffic and monetisation is gradually raising a generation emotionally wounded from childhood. And wounded children, if care is not taken, can grow into angry and dangerous adults.