By Nneka Chris-Asoluka
“We had 36 truly joyful years of the deepest love, happiest marriage, and truest partnership that I could imagine. Together, we made memories that will last forever, we laughed and shared the most wonderful moments. And during those 36 years, you prepared me for a day like this”
“Hello, my name is Chris, can I give you a lift?” I turned and found myself looking at this striking, good-looking, personable man, with the most handsome face lit up by a beautiful smile and Romeo-like eyes. I stared and stuttered, but quickly realizing that I was staring, I introduced myself and told him that I was going to look for a taxi after I collected my luggage (I didn’t want to just say yes to his offer, I needed to do small shakara na).
We had just disembarked from the aircraft that departed Enugu to Lagos and I was en route to Yaba for my NYSC orientation training camp. I was actually running late because our flight from Enugu was delayed and I knew I might not be assigned accommodation at the NYSC camp that day if i didn’t hurry up to ensure I was able to get a room placement. This was our first meeting, but I found myself telling him all about the NYSC experience, orientation et al. Trust the vintage Chris, he chuckled under his breath and muttered “do you want to use your NYSC alawee to pay for a cab, when I can safely chauffeur you?” We both laughed in unison and I told him that he will then have to wait for me to grab my luggage. Lest I forget, he had his two very close friends with him – late Oscar Onwudiwe and Okey Anueyiagu. They had attended a friend’s traditional wedding in Anambra state and were coming back to Lagos (they all had the signature swagger of then Lagos Big Boys!).
Chris dropped me off at the Yaba NYSC camp but not before dropping Oscar off at his residence in Ikeja where I was introduced to Oscar’s wife, the very beautiful Maureen, pregnant with their second child. Maureen proceeded to serve us a sumptuous English breakfast (I actually forgot I was rushing to camp. The food was too delicious. Lol). Finally we set off for the Yaba camp. On arrival, we met the longest line chockfull with corpers jostling to ensure they got room accommodation space before the close of the day. On seeing the shocking queue, Chris opted to stay with me till I got a room, offering to help me carry my things around instead of doing it all by myself. I responded that he might not be able to wait that long and that he could leave and I’d manage. He waited! The wait became so long that I again asked him to leave and that I’ll see him later but he, not sure I’ll look him up after that day( though he always denied this fact), he insisted on taking my things with him to his house and will bring them back to me once I contact him on my room placement details.
So he left with my things and gave me his home phone number and house address. Well, I ended up not getting a room assigned to me that day. But thanks to my sweet cousin Ifeyinwa Ebie now Ifeyinwa Osime, who found out that there was a vacant bed space in the room she was allocated, I finally had where to sleep. But now, I needed my things and opted to go that evening and get them. I didn’t want to go alone so I went to my bosom friend late Amaka Obiofuma’s house( later became Amaka Modebe) to co-opt her into going to Chris’s house with me. When she heard I let a complete stranger carry my personal things to his house, she screamed and said to me “what did this man do to you? Is it juju? It must be ooo, hmmm, Nneka, this is so unlike what you’ll do”. I thought about it myself but shaa ooo, Chris had a magnetic aura and I was soooo drawn by it (who can blame me). After admonishing me, Amaka agreed to go with me to retrieve my things(she didn’t really have a choice) and on getting to Chris’s house, he received us very well. Amaka kept on whispering to me that this man can’t be single and living in such opulence with a cook and steward at his beck and call and there was a photograph of a very beautiful woman strategically placed in one corner of the sitting room which Amaka pointed out to as being his wife( it was his mum’s photo but we didn’t know then and didn’t ask. Why ask? That will be too forward biko).
I believed her ooo, and couldn’t wait to leave with my belongings. Chris ever so charismatic, refused to allow us take a taxi and offered to drop us in Amaka’s house. We agreed and he did! On getting to Amaka’s house, he asked that I let him know immediately I get a room placement at the NYSC camp so he’ll know where to come find me later. Surprisingly, after that day, we did not see each other again for the next one year. He gave me his home phone number which I lost(remember Amaka and I had agreed already he was married) and he not knowing which block I was housed in at the NYSC camp, could not locate me. But fate brought us once more together at the wedding reception of Nkechi and Emeka Ugwuoju. The funny thing is that I had actually attended the wedding with a male friend, but on sitting down, I felt someone tap me at my back. I turned to see who tapped me, and met the same captivating gaze I delightedly recalled. It was Chris whom I had not seen since the day he dropped me at Amaka’s house. We chatted throughout and rekindled what was meant to be, and when it was time for us to go, I just waved goodbye to the other guy and went with Chris. Chaii, that was not very nice. Lol. Don’t blame me ooo, Chris’s charisma and charm were legendary. Nwokeoma with an impeccable dress sense. Even my dad who had vehemently refused that I marry someone not from Anambra State capitulated on sighting Chris for the first time. He discussed with him as if they had always known each other. You could see he was proud of my choice.
I had the opportunity and rare privilege of being the wife and partner of this wonderful, loving, kind and God fearing man. Life could not have been better than that because I was living every woman’s dream.
His life taught me unconditional love and his death taught me kindness. I am grateful that for almost 36 years I had the opportunity to share his dreams, hopes, love, friendship and much more.
My husband Chris was such a wonderful man. I’m not sure I can really express just how much I will miss him. Not only was he a wonderful husband, but the greatest father, grandfather, best friend, colleague … and so much more. Chris’s ability to make everyone feel comfortable, secure and loved were his greatest strengths. Have I talked about his intellect? Chris was so brilliant and talented. He could engage the brightest minds on any subject and still come out tops! He read wildly, voraciously and pursued knowledge with so much passion, energy and enthusiasm.
He was deeply philosophical about life and the universe. He believed and always posited that life is like a theatrical performance, with people playing different roles and experiencing various stages of life, each with their own unique roles and responsibilities within the larger drama of life. Such performances end when you reach your “bus stop” and have to disembark. Chris also believed that one had no say when that “bus stop” is reached and once it’s your turn, you get off and the bus moves on to “offload” others. He would always joke that according to the Bible, 70 years is what God granted man and the rest number of years is ‘jara’, and that at 70, a man should’ve lived out God’s purpose and be ready to heed the call and appreciate God’s faithfulness. He had this to say at all times, “onwu agbalam ohuhu, agami atula gi uwa” meaning “death do not hurry me up, when the time comes, I’ll gladly yield”.
My husband Chris spoke Owerre dialect like his life depended on it, he never will be caught speaking any other Igbo dialect. I remember when we were newly married, he will be conversing with my dad in Owerre dialect and my dad will be nodding and later will draw me aside to ask “ Nnenne, Chris osili gini?”, Nnenne, what did Chris say? And I’ll laugh so hard. Chris later found out that my dad had difficulties understanding the Owerri dialect and from then on, he switched to conversing with my dad in English. The irony of it all is that Chris can speak the Anambra Igbo dialect so fluently having grown up in Enugu but he will NOT speak it. He spoke Owerre with panache, flamboyance and style! I had no choice but to become fluent in Owerre language. He was a proud Owerre thoroughbred and reveled in its mastery and the title Okwuruoha/ OkwuruOwerre collectively bestowed on him by ndi Eze Owerre was a testament of his commitment towards his people and Ndigbo at large..
A man of unwavering principles. A tower of strength. A soul of generosity, rare intellect, and profound wisdom. “OkwuruOwerre” lived a life anchored in service – to God, to family, to community, and to country. His compassion was unfiltered, his integrity unshakable, his vision limitless. Never one to compromise on his values and principles, he shunned short term gains which he called long term negatives. He was remarkable and dependable and I couldn’t have asked for a better spouse.
A man of the people. A man who stood by his family throughout.
A man who was a hero to all who knew him. A man who forgave so easily! A man who loved unconditionally. A man who believed in sharing and caring. A man who put a smile on people’s faces. A man who was so full of life.
Le Kristo mu, husband of mine, we had 36 truly joyful years of the deepest love, happiest marriage, and truest partnership that I could imagine … you gave me the experience of being deeply understood, truly supported and completely and utterly loved – and I will carry that with me always. Together we made memories that will last forever, we laughed and shared the most wonderful moments.
I am beyond grateful you were by my side through our 36 years incredible journey as husband and wife. And during this 36 years, you prepared me for a day like this, you gave me a free hand to handle things trusting my decisions and my capabilities. Imeela dim oma. I am not confounded, confused or broken because that’s not what you’ll want to see in me, you certainly did a good job and I’ll be forever grateful for your leadership and guidance. I give God all the glory for the beautiful, rewarding, fulfilling, honest and remarkable life you lived. It’s never how long, but how well and your life was well lived to His glory! I remember you telling me that God’s will should be the ultimate goal of one’s life and destiny and we as mortals should never question it but embrace it believing that His will is the best for us! When I remember all these our conversations, I am comforted knowing that you are in a good and happy place. We will be ok, you made sure that we will be!
To our children, you were the best father, firm but loving. You poured yourself into them, you inculcated good values and principles into them and taught them honesty, love, kindness, contentment and integrity. You taught them to always remember the good name they bear! They were your pride.
You extended the same warmth and fatherly role to your son in-law Tobe, and daughter in-law Jane. You bonded with them in the short time they joined our family and we became one big happy family.
Our grandson Ebubenna, gave you so much happiness and you proudly declared him as “The Future”! I thank God he came during your lifetime.
We do not mourn your passing but celebrate your time here with us, and thank God for the opportunity to share this space with you, and to call you ours.
We will carry your memory with us and it brings me comfort to know that so much of you is alive in our family and friends.
The children and I will always love you, remember you and pray for you.
Goodnight, my love, till we meet on the resurrection morning!
Your wife,
Nneka Chris-Asoluka (Lolo Okwuruoha).
