The leadership of the Nigeria Police has denied that its Officers Mess in Onikan, Lagos, is up for sale. It said that on the contrary, it is being reconstructed and refurbished for the use of Police personnel.
In a release to the effect signed by its Spokesman, CP Frank Mba, the Police Force said its attention has been drawn to a publication in some sections of the media dated 17th January, 2021 alleging plots by the Inspector-General of Police to sell-off the Nigeria Police Officers’ Mess located at Onikan, Lagos.
It dismissed the story as totally false.
Mba said:
“The Nigeria Police Officers’ Mess, Onikan, conceived decades ago, was built to cater for the welfare of Police Officers, provide transit accommodation for Officers on transfer, or on special assignments, and provide a conducive social environment suitable for their relaxation. Over time however, the property has degenerated and shown structural defects requiring a massive renovation or outright rebuilding.
“In a bid to restore its lost glory, provide a modern and befitting Officers’ Mess and tackle the defects of the old structure, the Police Management Team took a decision to upgrade the existing Officers’ Mess to a world-class edifice.
“Upon completion, the project which is wholly owned and financed by the Police would provide one of the most aesthetically satisfying facilities on the Onikan waterfront and serve to improve social interaction between members of the Police Force and the general public.
“It would have been unnecessary to respond to the deliberate misinformation, falsehood and outright mischief by the authors of the publications but this response is necessitated by the need to set the records straight and halt the intended damage to a well-thought-out project and another orchestrated plan to wrongfully attack the office of the Inspector-General of Police.
“The IGP therefore enjoins well-meaning Nigerians to disregard the misinformation while members of the press should beware of rumour-mongering and the activities of those who aim to disparage and discredit well-thought-out projects.”
Billionaire United Bank for Africa, UBA chairman, Tony Elemelu, last week, cited his success with the commercial bank as one of the reasons for the acquisition of 45 per cent stake in OML 17 former owned by Shell which effectively made him owner of Africa’s biggest oil block in a deal worth over $1.1 billion.
For many years, the banker has carefully nursed the commercial bank into one of the biggest banks in the country after its merger with Standard Trust Bank, STB owned by the businessman in 2005.
Speaking of the acquisition, the chairman of Heirs Holding said he had set his eyes on the ball to make UBA one of the biggest financial behemoths from the very start, which in turn has turned him to a business mogul of repute. He said people “are disappointed when I tell them that I couldn’t readily think of any “failures”. Yes, my life in business has not been perfect – far from it – but I have never been a person to view the glass as half-empty, instead of full.
“I have always believed that in the most difficult times, lay the most unexpected opportunities. Many of the life-changing decisions that transformed my life for the better, have been made in times of “distress”, so I never come to think of these periods as failures, but as a time for reflection, repositioning and, if necessary, reinvention.
Elumelu: UBA Chairman
“Perhaps this trait of persistent optimism and doggedness is rooted in my childhood. At the age of barely five years old, my family had to flee Jos, leaving everything we possessed, running for our lives in the middle of civil war. This dislocation could have shattered and torn a family with five small children apart, burying them in a deep hole of financial and mental hardship, but I witnessed my father and mother rise.
“I fondly recall my childhood days with no memory of ever lacking for anything – not because we were rich or wealthy, but because my parents made sure to never accept defeat, to never dwell on disappointments, and to never see failure as anything other than a chance to rethink and reposition.
“Today, after eight years of resilience, endurance, optimism, and persistence, Heirs Holdings, the leading African strategic investor, in partnership with our affiliated company Transnational Corporation of Nigeria Plc (“Transcorp”), Nigeria’s largest publicly listed conglomerate, announced its acquisition of a 45% participating interest in Nigerian oil license OML 17, and related assets from Shell, Total and ENI.
“At US $1.1 billion, this transaction is one of the largest oil and gas financings in Africa this decade. The asset has a current production capacity of 27,000 barrels of oil equivalent per day (“boe/d”) and 2P reserves of 1.2 billion boe, with an additional 1 billion boe resources of further exploration potential. In addition, we will have sole operatorship.”
Worsening Complaints Over Lender’s Electronic Payment Systems
Elumelu’s success in business cannot be separated from UBA’s, his baby which he has nursed to be one of the biggest banks in the country in terms of customer deposit and branch networks. In spite of its success in Nigeria’s financial sector, the Deposit Money Bank, DMB has had its own share of controversies, including, but not limited to, alleged sharp practices by some members of staff and management. Therefore, the recent allegation of Automated Teller Machine, ATM related fraud did not come as a rude shock to customers and keen stakeholders in the sector.
A customer of the bank @Rexshrizzy has alleged on his twitter page that the bank’s ATM in Ijebu Ode, Ogun state are dispensing fake naira notes to customers. The customer, who said he was surprised that a commercial bank with UBA high reputation could be involved in such fraudulent act, said he was prepared to go public if the bank failed to do something about his allegation.
According to him, he had gone to withdraw some money at the bank’s ATMs in the town when he discovered that the cash dispensed by the machine were fake naira notes. Narrating the ugly experience, the customer said “I withdrew 1K from your ATM here in Ijebu Ode Branch and na fake naira notes e dispense.”
Kennedy Uzoka: UBA Managing Director
The angry customer who said he’s unhappy with the ugly experience, said there’s an urgent need for the regulatory authority like the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN to wade into the matter to save other customers who may have experienced a similar ordeal, or others who might face the same problem in the future. Demanding that his allegation be looked into he said “@cenbank is it supposed to be like that”?
This is not the first time the lender, touted as Africa’s Global Bank has been enmeshed in alleged electronic payment related fraud. The bank’s social media platforms are on a daily basis, awash with customers’ complaints when they make use of the bank’s electronic payment systems. The customers said they are also angry over the cold response of the bank’s social media handlers to their complaints.
Adetutu Daniele @simplytutu while narrating her experience said the bank has failed to do something on a failed transaction since last year. “Pls you guys should look into this for me cos I have made this complaint since October last year so I don’t understand why you guys are yet to send a recall mail to Wema Bank so I can recover my money.”
Another customer TemmyOFLaLa @TemiladeImail said “I did a transfer of 3000 Naira on the 9th of this month the money didn’t get to the receiver and I was debited. What type of bank is this Uba seff,” the angry customer said to @UBAGroup.
Hassan Sodiq Adebayo @Hass said “Pls uba av done everything u ask me to do ND u r still with my 50,000 plsreturn my money my hard earned money.”
Some customers have threatened to move to other banks if the problems persist. “This is not good for the bank that’s trying to build a global brand. The management of the bank should rise up to the occasion by assuring customers that the problems are not deliberate.
That includes quick response to customers’ complaints. Failure to do this would mean that some employees of the bank are responsible for these fraudulent practices. Why should ATMs be dispensing fake naira notes for instance? Wole Adebanji, a forensic expert said. “This is a serious matter that must be looked into, to prevent customers from abandoning the ATMs for fear of cashing fake currency. I’m sure that this is not what the bank wants, particularly in the covid 19 era when banks are trying to reduce physical contacts in banking halls,” he said.
The ATM was introduced into the Nigeria Market in 1989 and its debut has no doubt changed the face of electronic payment in Nigeria. The first one was installed by National Cash Registers, NCR for the defunct Societe Generale Bank Nigeria (SGBN) in the same year. Many commercial banks have adopted Self Service (ATMs) technology due to its cost effective nature.
Nigeria has finally joined the race for the production of Vaccines for Coronavirus, the pandemic that has been ravaging the world causing economic strain, disruption of the supply chain, and deaths all over the world.
For this purpose, the government has released N10 billion for the local production of the vaccines in the country.
The Minister of Health, Osagie Ehanire, said that the fund was released by the Finance Minister for the support of domestic vaccine production.
“While we are working to develop our own vaccines, Nigeria is exploring options for licensed production, in collaboration with recognized institutions.
“We are also exploring the option of local production of the vaccines in the country,” the minister said.
Meanwhile, tales are rife of vaccines already being sold and applied in Nigeria as part of the imported vaccines from either China, Europe, or America. The Minister, however, dismissed this with a wave of the hand.
“I advise all citizens to disregard these claims, as they are criminal. There are procedures for vaccine acquisition and use, which include appropriate regulations and certification by the National Agency for Food and Drug and Administration and Control (NAFDAC).
“I advise against fake vaccines, as there is no one approved for use in the country.
“The National Primary Health Care Development Agency (NPHCDA) is the only authorized vaccine administrator in Nigeria,” he said.
The number of new COVID-19 cases had continued to spike in the country. 10,300 confirmed cases were recently reported from 50,750 samples tested in one week which implies a 20 percent positivity rate.
“It means one out of every five persons tested in the last one week turned out positive, compared with the previous week which recorded a positivity rate of 14 percent.
“Nigeria’s total number of confirmed cases is 110,387 out of a total of 1,172,234 samples tested, with a cumulative positivity rate of 9.4 percent. 1,444 cases were recorded in the past 24 hours, with sadly 77 deaths in the past week and a total fatality of 1,435.
“It is instructive of the second wave that all cases recorded so far this January is more than 20 percent of all confirmed cases in Nigeria, more than the whole of December, barely halfway through the month.
“There is no doubting the fact that we are deep into the second a wave of the pandemic which requires that PTF and FMoH review our strategies to respond to the challenge.
“The federal ministry of health has outlined three approaches to confront the pandemic. These are: infection mitigation, therapeutics and vaccines,” he said.
Governor Seyi Makinde of Oyo state is considering the revocation of all contracts awarded by his government to the former Governor of Ekiti state, Peter Ayodele Fayose and his allies, sources in Agodi Government House have said.
The Ekiti strongman allegedly received multi-billion naira, mouth watering contracts from the state government through allies and cronies as payback for his support for Makinde to emerge governor in 2019 various sources say. These include contracts in the Oyo State Universal Basic Education Board, SUBEB, apart from other contracts to compensate Fayose for backing the Oyo governor to win the election against the candidate of the All Progressives Congress, APC.
But now that things are no longer rosy between the former allies over the crisis rocking the leadership of PDP in the south west, pressure has mounted on the governor from his close allies and advisers to break all ties with the ex-Ekiti helmsman, including the total revocation of contracts awarded to his close allies by the state government . One of such is the SUBEB contract allegedly awarded to Kolapo Olubunmi Olushola Eleka, former Deputy Governor to Fayose. Recall that the former governor failed in his attempt to make his deputy succeed him.
This could be the last straw in the feud that started not long after the PDP lost the governorship election in Ondo state to Governor Rotimi Akeredolu last year. That was the tipping point in the relationship between the former allies as both groups have been throwing tantrums at each other over who should be blamed for PDP loss in Ondo. All efforts to reconcile them have so far failed.
The disagreement led to the removal of Dayo Ogungbenro, the PDP vice chairman in the zone by other members of the executive, purportedly backed by Fayose. Negligence of duty, and failure to call any meeting since he was appointed, was cited as reasons for Ogungbenro removal. Makinde will not have any of that and has continued to back the embattled party stalwart.
Makinde’s group are pointing accusing fingers at the Uche Secondus led PDP for failing to bring the feuding leaders together. Some have even blamed the National Chairman of the party for supporting one of the groups, thus making reconciliation somehow very difficult.
Governor Makinde has accused the Ekiti ex- governor of trying to destroy the PDP to escape his problem with the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC. On his part, Fayose said Makinde is a ‘baby, governor who’s looking for relevance.
The feelers from the Oyo state government could finally destroy what’s left of the relationship between the former political allies, their key supporters say, as the Oyo governor is now going all out to use what one of his aides described as his Trump card to his advantage.
“Governor Makinde is not a father Christmas that he will be dispensing favours to his political enemies. He’s prepared to break all ranks with the former Ekiti governor and put him to check,” a source told the magazine recently.
The sources who spoke under condition of anonymity, said the Oyo state government will withdraw all privileges and contracts enjoyed by the former governor and his allies. This includes “the multi-billion naira SUBEB contracts awarded to Fayose’s Deputy as part of reward for supporting Governor Makinde’s election bid in 2019. You may wish to know that Governor Makinde has continued to fulfill his own part of the bargain despite the disagreement, and everything that Fayose has been doing to undermine and disrespect him.
“That will not be allowed to continue. You cannot be against the governor and continue to be awarded contracts from the same man you want to bring down, “ a close aide of Governor Makinde said.
The source said “the former deputy governor is the major consultant to Oyo SUBEB, a contract he received as a result of the relationship that Governor Makinde enjoyed with Fayose when he first came into office in 2019.”
Secondus Fails To Reconcile Fayose, Makinde
In what has also been described as another push to galvanize his support base, Governor Makinde, on Saturday received the endorsement of the Lagos state PDP.
Waliu Hassan, PDP Lagos chairman said on Saturday, during a visit by the members of his executives, to the governor in Agodi government house, that the PDP in the Centre of Excellence is committed to Mkinde’s leadership in the zone. He said Makinde is the natural leader of PDP in the Zone.
Hassan said “The purpose of today’s meeting is to thank Governor Makinde for standing by the party and to pledge total loyalty to his leadership of the South-West. No more, no less. We can tell you that the governor does not want anything from us. He, as the Chief Security Officer of Oyo State, needs nothing from the party. Rather, we are the ones who came all the way from Lagos to plead with him to keep leading the party.
“We resolved to, irrespective of any rancour, move the party forward and we will ensure that the party takes its better seat in 2023. We did not come here to discuss who takes anything for zonal congress. The congress will soon come up and for all we care; we have come to restate our commitment to our own governor.
“It is the full structure of Lagos that is represented here. Out of 19, we have the representation of 12 local government chairmen. We also have 17 complete non-working committee members of state exco here present. We have the deputy chairman of the party here. We have the secretary, legal adviser and the entire party structure of Lagos State here. This is a complete House of PDP, Lagos State.”
The duo are trying to assert themselves though many PDP supporters believe that Governor Makinde is the natural leader by virtue of his position as the only PDP governor in the south west. The latest endorsement, watchers of the party say, is to further prove that point.
A High Court sitting in Ado Ekiti, on Monday ended the career of a policeman, an Assistant Commissioner of Police, ACP Okubo Aboye. He was jailed for life as the law caught up with him.
The ACP was imprisoned for buying a stolen vehicle from an unreliable seller identified to be kidnappers.
Justice John Adeyeye, who delivered the judgement, also jailed Aboye accomplices, Ayodele Obamoyegun (39), Femi Omiawe (40), Damilola Obamoyegun (20), Bose Sade Ajayi (30), George Lucky (35), Chukwuma Nnamani (22) and Sunday Ogunleye (45).
Each of them bagged five years imprisonment without an option of fine for kidnapping.
Reports before the court indicate that the car was tracked down to the compound of ACP Okubo, who admitted during interrogation that he bought the vehicle from his mechanic who received it from the kidnappers.
The prosecutor, Felix Awoniyi, revealed that “the offence runs contrary to sections 346(2), 1(2)a, and Section 5 of the Criminal Code Cap C16 laws of Ekiti State, 2012 and Robbery and Firearms Special Provisions Act, Cap R11, Laws of the Federation of Nigeria, 2004.”
Justice Adeyeye found the senior Police officer guilty and ruled that he should be sentenced to life imprisonment accordingly.
“I found you guilty of receiving a stolen vehicle. All evidence pointed to the fact that you were aware that the car was stolen.
“You are hereby sentenced to life imprisonment for the offence,” he said.
“To prove the kidnapping case, the prosecutor called seven witnesses while exhibits tendered included statements of the accused persons and bond to release the vehicle to the owner.”
The supporting role being played by former President Dr. Goodluck Jonathan towards reviving the stalled constitutional review process in The Gambia has begun to bear fruits with the political parties and parliamentarians determining to cooperate and resolve the challenges standing in the way of adopting a new constitution for the people of The Gambia.
Dr. Jonathan who was invited to The Gambia last December as a well-respected eminent international statesman returned to Banjul in the first week of January to continue to facilitate the consultations for advancing the interparty dialogue towards garnering the required parliamentary support for a draft constitution meant to give the people of the country a new republic.
A statement from Professor Adebayo Olukoshi, boss of International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance (International IDEA), the agency that provides the main technical backup to the mission, noted that Jonathan’s intervention has succeeded in producing the trade-offs among the stakeholders that made it possible for them to agree on many of the points debated and how to move the process forward.
He added that the concessions “provide a strong foundation on which to build further in order to give the people of The Gambia the constitutional framework they deserve for advancing their democratic aspirations”, adding that next steps towards this desired outcome will be pursued over the coming days and weeks.
The former President is said to have been able to inspire the kind of confidence and trust that created the atmosphere for the Government, political party leaders, parliamentarians, civil society leaders and other stakeholders in The Gambia to return to the negotiating table and reconsider the draft constitution.
Stating further, Prof Olukoshi said: “His Excellency former President Jonathan saluted the unalloyed commitment displayed by the political leaders who took an active part in the discussions in striving to unlock obstacles towards the adoption of a new national constitution for The Gambia.
“He(Jonathan) welcomed the show of political will that was in evidence during the discussions, including an openness to dialogue, the embrace of a spirit of compromise, and the display of a high sense of personal leadership.”
During the course of his visit, as with the previous one in December 2020, Dr. Jonathan held meetings, both bilateral and in various plenary sessions, with key political leaders and a cross-section of Gambian civil society, including faith leaders. He also had a private working discussion with President Adama Barrow and an interactive session with some of the development partners of The Gambia.
Giving further details on the mission, the statement said: “Over the period from 07 to 11 January 2021, and in continuation of an invited mission that was launched in mid- December 2020, His Excellency Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, former President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, was in The Gambia to meet with the leaders of political parties and other stakeholders as part of ongoing efforts to advance the country’s constitutional reform process. The International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance (International IDEA) provided the main technical backup to the mission while the Office of the Attorney-General and Minister of Justice of the Republic of Gambia assisted with facilitation services.”
The Indigenous People of Biafra, IPOB, has accused a number of politicians of Igbo origin of working against an Igbo becoming Nigeria’s President.
IPOB says, surprisingly, it is the same people who always worked against the Igbo, that are today angling for that position.
For that reason, IPOB said in a statement signed by its Spokesman, Emma Powerful, that it would never support Igbo Presidency in 2023. It called those Igbo lobbying to be President in 2023, betrayers, who would sell the Igbo for a pot of porridge.
IPOB said the Igbo betrayal by the Igbo began in 1999 when prominent Igbo politicians backed the candidacy of former President Olusegun Obasanjo, against that of their kinsman, the late Dr Alex Ekwueme, former Vice President under the Shehu Shagari Government, even though they belonged to the same political party. It named the Senate Chief Whip, a former Abia Governor, and Chief Jim Nwobodo, former old Anambra Governor, as among those who dumped Ekwueme for Obasanjo during the PDP Presidential primary in Jos. Obasanjo went on to win the Presidency.
IPOB, also, said that the same scenario played out in 2019 when the PDP Presidential candidate, Atiku Abubakar, picked former Governor of Anambra State, Peter Obi, as his running mate. IPOB said PDP members of Igbo extraction, including Ebonyi State Governor, Dave Umahi, worked against the ticket.
For those reasons, IPOB said it would never support the Igbo for the 2023 Presidency.
In 1999, however, this magazine recalls that it was a deliberate decision of the Military Government in power then, under General Abdulsalami Abubakar, to give the Presidency to Obasanjo to compensate the Yoruba for the death of the presumed winner of the June 12, 1993, Presidential election, Chief MKO Abiola, in Military detention.
But IPOB insists it was a betrayal of the Igbo against the Igbo. Part of the statement reads:
“We cannot support anybody that will kill us. That will mean the end of the Biafra emancipation, as you know.
“It is still fresh in our minds what transpired at Jos convention when the late Dr Akex Ekwueme contested for the the candidature of the President of Nigeria, under PDP in 1999.
“Then the likes of Jim Nwobodo, Orji Uzor Kalu and virtually every other Igbo delegation at that convention voted against him. These Igbo men sabotaged Igbo Presidency then. What has changed since 1999 that will make them now come out to shamefully clamourfor the same Igbo Presidency they publicly rejected in 1999?
“Similarly, when Mr Peter Obi, in 2019 was contesting with Abubakar Atiku as his running mate, Governor Dave Umahi and his co-travellers in conspiracy business did not support, or campaign for him, despite being in the same political party -PDP.
“We are surprised that these people shouting President of Igbo extraction today, but sabotaged their own people yesterday, think we have forgotten, they also think others will support them when it is their own time.”
A number of Igbo organisations have accused IPOB of deliberately working against the emergence of an Igbo as President in 2023.
The Federal University of Technology Akure, (FUTA), has expressed shock at the killing of one of its officials by suspected Fulani herdsmen.
The deceased, Dr Amos Arijesuyo, a Deputy Registrar, Head, Guidance & Counseling Unit, Students Affairs Division, died on Saturday of injuries from the gunshots wound he suffered when his private vehicle was attacked along the Ilesa-Akure Road by fulani herdsmen.
Dr Arijesuyo was returning to Akure from a trip to Ibadan when his vehicle ran into an ambush laid by gunmen who were operating on the road around 5.30 PM.
The bandits shot sporadically at the vehicle targeting the five occupants during which some of the bullets hit Dr Arijesuyo and the driver.
The driver managed to drive the vehicle away from the scene of the attack and concerted efforts were made to seek immediate medical help.
However, Dr Arijesuyo succumbed to the fatal injuries from the gunshots he suffered during the hellish encounter while the driver is recuperating at a hospital.
In a statement on Monday by Omololu Adegbenro, spokesman, FUTA condemned the attack of the official.
“Dr Arijesuyo’s death is a big loss to FUTA , the academic community in Nigeria and beyond. It is a death that should not have happened in the first place.
“It is the hope of the management, staff and students of FUTA that security agencies will go after the evil men who carried out the dastardly act and make them face the full weight of the law and just recompense for their heinous crime.”
Forty eight hours after suspected Fulani Herdsmen shot dead an official of a University in Ondo state, Governor Rotimi Akeredolu has issued a marching order restricting movement of Herdsmen in the state.
In a statement on Monday in Akure, the Governor stated that: “We have taken major steps at addressing the root cause of kidnapping, in particular, and other nefarious activities detailed and documented in security reports, the press and debriefings from victims of kidnap cases in Ondo State.
“These unfortunate incidents are traceable to the activities of some bad elements masquerading as herdsmen.
“These felons have turned our forest reserves into hideouts for keeping victims of kidnapping, negotiating for ransom and carrying out other criminal activities.
“As the Chief Law and Security Officer of the State, it is my constitutional obligation to do everything lawful to protect the lives and property of all residents of the State. In light of the foregoing, the following orders are hereby issued:
“All Forest Reserves in the State are to be vacated by herdsmen within the next seven days with effect from today, Monday 18th January, 2021.
“Night-grazing is banned with immediate effect because most farm destruction takes place at night.
“Movement of cattle within cities and highways is prohibited. Under-aged grazing of cattle is outlawed.
“In its usual magnanimity, our administration will give a grace period of seven days for those who wish to carry on with their cattle-rearing business to register with appropriate authorities.
“Our resolution to guarantee safety of lives and property within the State shall remain utmost as security agencies have been directed to enforce the ban.”
They will organise a ‘small’ social event, invite 50 -100 guests and space the tables two -feet apart. The guests will come, wearing masks, and have their temperatures taken at the entrance – including the asymptomatic ones.
They will wash their hands at the door, then go in and settle down.
It’s been a long hot day, and so you proceed to help yourself to the drinks already placed on your table. You pour yourself a glass and remove your face mask to drink. The music is blaring and so the server is practically within kissing distance, to hear and take your order.
You’re still not wearing your mask, but it’s okay because the tables are two-feet apart. You washed your hands at the entrance, your temperature read normal and you came in wearing your mask.
He proceeds to take all other orders on your table and elsewhere in the same fashion. While drinking, your long, lost friend walks by and you stand up to embrace each other and catch up for five minutes at close range because the music is loud.
Your mask is still off, but it’s okay because the tables have been set two-feet apart. You came in wearing your mask, washed your hands at the entrance and your temperature read ‘normal’.
Then it’s time for the celebrant’s dance. Many guests join in at the dance floor, gathering close together so the celebrant can notice them as they spray, congratulate and embrace them. They proceed to spray the band’s vocalist too, who unfortunately cannot sing wearing the mask because his voice wouldn’t be ‘clean’.
But you in your infinite wisdom, choose to remain in your seat for safety reasons and so you feel safe. After all, your tables have been set two feet apart. You came in with your mask, washed your hands at the door, and your temp read normal.
After the dance-a-thon, the guests make their ways back to their respective tables, the very familiar ones passing by, acknowledging you with a rub on your shoulder. One or two actually stop over and bend to give you a light hug with pleasantries.. By now your mask is neatly tucked away in your bag, so the ofada sauce doesn’t stain it. In fact, everyone’s mask is now either on the table, under their chins, in their bags or below their nostrils.
But it’s okay though because the tables remain two feet apart, you all came in wearing your masks, washed your hands at the door and your temperature read normal.
And now they’re serving the small chops- different servers. These ones are actually wearing their own masks but with their large nostrils in full view, gleefully distributing any and everything they might’ve inhaled from the other table, exhaling and collecting from yours, to distribute elsewhere. But it’s cool because you just remembered you have hand sanitizer in your bag. Coupled with that, the tables are still two feet apart, you came in wearing a mask, washed your hands at the door and your temperature read normal.. what again?
Anyway, the party is really in full swing now because the band has rounded up, D.J has taken over and so has the alcohol. People are now on their feet by their tables dancing in groups to the old school jams while others are trying to out-shaku themselves to Naira Marley’s beats.
The third set of servers, completely devoid of the face masks have begun weaving through the small tipsy crowd to distribute fish and chips, while others are picking empty bottles off the floor. Another set has also begun distributing souvenirs..
All in all, the event was a blast, very well organized. And they even paid attention to all the necessary safety protocols.
Two to four days later, you’re down with a fever, you can’t smell or taste a thing and you cannot walk three steps without losing your breath. You’re also coughing and your throat itches like crazy. Thus you begin treating yourself for malaria and flu. Because you’re thinking – surely it’s got to be one or the other? Because you never go out – the only place you’ve been to in the last four weeks was that party at the weekend, and they were very meticulous in following the safety guidelines..
Everyone went in wearing their masks, temperatures were taken at the door, everyone washed and sanitized their hands before entry and the tables inside were spaced two feet apart for effective social distancing, so how could it possibly be COVID?
