By Azu Ishiekwene
I intended to write about something else, but changed my mind halfway through. Apart from making New Year’s resolutions a habit, which nearly half of adult Americans engage in, another common feature of this time of year in many parts of the world is making predictions.
It’s as hazardous as knowing a baby’s sex before birth used to be before the 20th century.But somehow, I’ve managed to make yearly forecasts over the last five years without eating too many humble pies.
Before retiring the idea, I thought about something different, as you wind down what has been, for the most part, an extraordinarily tumultuous year, thanks to the Wrecking-Ball-In-Chief, US President Donald J. Trump. With the help of my personal assistant, Julius Ogar, I have collected some of my unusual articles this year for your Christmas pleasure. Among his top five picks was “Understanding the Flight Announcer,” an article that tried to decipher the babble that passes for flight announcements at many Nigerian airports.
A flight announcement
I hope your experience has been different this Christmas, and that despite chaotic flight delays, you still managed to hear the endless announcements above the din in crowded passenger lounges. When I wrote the piece in June, I was at the Asaba Airport in Southern Nigeria, waiting to board a flight to Abuja, the country’s capital.
After what I thought was my mind playing tricks on me, I approached the desk to confirm whether the announcer had indeed said “Accra” instead of Abuja, where I was going. The second announcement in a fake Oyinbo accent was worse: “This is a boreding announcement on Flight PA74862 from Hum, Hum, Hum, to Ham, Ham, Ham…all persongers on this flight should phulease proceed to the boreding gate…a phust departure call phulease…”
Apart from recommending tools like PAXGuide to monitor announcements and improve announcer performance, I also suggested that announcements could be made in Pidgin, where necessary, to reduce passenger misery.
Sankara-wannabe
The second pick was the article entitled “How to Crown an Impostor.” It was a piece about how the military leader of Burkina Faso, Ibrahim Traore, has become something of a rock star. I don’t know why my assistant thought it was funny, but I hope he has no plans to go near that West African country anytime soon.
Traore, a Sankara-wannabe, has enjoyed more generosity than any other recent coup plotter in the region, courtesy of TikTokers and their Russian Wagner allies, who have crowned him “The People’s Captain.” As I remarked in the piece, “Traorephytes even invent videos of Rihanna and R Kelly (imprisoned since 2021) serenading the Burkinabe leader with hit songs!”
TikTok fantasy
It’s hard to see what Traore has done outside the make-belief world of TikTokers and the fantasy of hordes of young people disenchanted by poor governance in that country, and across the continent. But they swear by every avatar that he’s working. As a gesture of the season, if Traore has a sense of humour, it might not be a bad idea to frame him in a Santa Claus cap, the way Trump framed himself as a Pope, and plant a Christmas song in his mouth.
Here was how the piece on Traore ended: “For three years, Traore’s stock has risen amid algorithmic populism expressed in languages he neither understands nor speaks, with minimal institutional reforms, if any, and no prospects or commitment to return the country to civilian rule.
“His rhetoric,” The Africa Report said, “still falls short of real, measurable improvements in security and civic freedoms. There’s a gap between his message and the reality on the ground, something that will ultimately test his legitimacy and legacy.”
A life coach
The third piece, “Aparutu and His Life Coach,” was personal. It was a tribute written in honour of my mentor, Sir Ademola Osinubi, who turned 70 in October. The thing about it that resonates at Christmas is how small encounters can change our lives, illustrated in biblical stories like the one of curiosity leading the wise men from the East, for example.
When I first met Osinubi 40 years ago, I was only following my professional vistas, unsure where they would lead. I was introduced to Osinubi by the Editor at the time, Alhaji Najeem Jimoh. My encounter with Osinubi and a few others named in that article fostered my career for over two decades.
The improbable legend of something good out of Nazareth was, in my case, made possible by someone willing to take a chance on me, an aparutu, leading me and indeed many who crossed his path later in life by the force of his example.
Power’s proper job
“When Are You Going to Get a Proper Job?” That was the title of the fourth piece that my assistant selected. It’s the title of a book that chronicles the 60 years in journalism by my friend, Jonathan Power, 83. I’ve known Power for over 25 years, and it came as a big surprise that many years after he gave himself to writing, his father still didn’t think writing was “a proper job.”
As you can imagine, for many parents of Power’s day, the only “proper jobs were law, engineering, and medicine.” Being one of Europe’s most informed and syndicated journalists didn’t matter. Nor did it matter that journalism had taken Power far and wide and acquainted him with some of the world’s most influential and powerful people.
In the end, it doesn’t matter so much what people, including our parents, think we should have been. Their wishes come from a good place, but life is lived forward. And Power might agree that, even though he had made some difficult choices, especially in his love life, being a journalist was not one of them.
At the end of the year, we are faced with the same conundrum as Power faced when he was contemplating his love life: “If only I had been more lucky, wise, sensible…” But life is lived forward.
African pope
My assistant’s fifth choiceis “Waiting for an African Pope.” I don’t know why he chose this. As far as wishes go, this prospect exists in the movies, such as Peter Straughan’s The Conclave.
But Arinze Cardinal, a character in that movie, is only a fantasy. My article on an African pope in April fizzled in black smoke, though not a few would later say that the emergence of Pope Francis, an American, with a strong affinity for the poor and oppressed around the world, is as good as it gets in terms of papal equity.
Obi as Atiku’s lunch
As my special Christmas bonus, I’m taking the liberty of this last conversation of the year to add a sixth article I wrote in July, entitled “Peter Obi’s Dangerous Game.”
In that article, I warned that the former presidential candidate of the Labour Party seemed determined to commit political suicide first by his indecision about where to go next, and second, by leaning toward the African Democratic Congress (ADC), a party that has been prepared for former Vice President Atiku Abubakar.
It’s almost certain that he would go there, regardless. Insiders have informed me that the groundwork has been laid and that when the time comes, Atiku and others will support Obi’s ambition. I laugh. Atiku is like a lion wearing the cap of Santa Claus and offering a gift box wrapped in garlands, swag and tinsel. Obi and his ambition would soon be lunch.
A Merry Christmas shouldn’t cost so much!
Happy New Year!
Ishiekwene is Editor-In-Chief of LEADERSHIP and author of Writing for Media and Monetising It.
This column returns on January 9, 2026. If you would like to read more, visit: www.azuishiekwene.com.
