The Morning My Third Friend Died

By Ray Ekpu

In an interview with accomplished Journalist and Columnist, Mike Awoyinfa, legendary Journalist, Ray Ekpu, co- founder of Newswatch, laments the loss, to death, of his friends and colleague-co-founders – Dele Giwa, Dan Agbese, and, most recently, Yakubu Mohammed. Following hereunder, excerpts from the interview

“I have lost three good friends—Dele Giwa, Dan Agbese, Yakubu Mohammed. It’s a devastating experience. It has never happened to me before.

“When Dele died, I still had two other friends, and we moved ahead together—in the company and in our relationship. Then Dan died. I had just returned from Canada, where I went to seek medical attention. Still, I knew I had two other friends—Yakubu and Soji Akinrinade—and we could cope with the situation.

“Then, two weeks later, we lost Yakubu. So I am left with Soji. He is in the UK now, his family is there, and he also goes there to take care of his health. So it is very difficult coping with all this.

“The morning Yakubu died, I was sitting down trying to have breakfast. It was around 7.30 or 8 a.m. Then my daughter arrived with her husband. I asked them, ‘What is the matter? Why are the two of you here this early?’ At that time, I had not heard the news that Yakubu was gone.

“There is a saying that when something happens, everybody hears—except you. You are the last person to hear. Those who had heard the news called my daughter and her husband, and they decided to come. They came all the way from Victoria Island.

“They told me, ‘We came to sit with you. We want to ensure that you can cope with this.’ They stayed with me for a good part of the day before returning.

How have I been dealing with it?

” It is very, very difficult. I engage myself in intellectual work. I also watch sports on television. But you can’t focus for too long. The phone rings every 30 minutes—from different parts of the world and different regions of Nigeria. It’s very difficult to handle.

“What makes it more painful is this: when I left for Canada in July and spent four months there, Yakubu was strong, except for waist pain—which many old people have. I asked him, ‘Do you need a lumbar belt?’ He said yes. I went to several pharmacies to get one, but when I didn’t find the right size, I gave money to one of my staff to buy it and deliver it to him because I was travelling.

“When I returned, he was using the belt, but he had started using a walker and was moving with difficulty. In just four months, his condition had deteriorated.

“He began physiotherapy at LUTH. His daughter works there as a medical doctor, so I felt he was getting good attention. Later, he was hospitalised. On the day he was supposed to be discharged, I asked him if he was home so I could visit. He said no—he didn’t know why he hadn’t been discharged. I told him to take it easy; doctors have their reasons.

“The next day, I called his daughter to ask if he was stable. She said yes. I asked if I could speak to him. She said she would ask him to call me. I then called his phone. His wife answered. I asked her if his condition was stable. She said yes. I told her, ‘Please tell him I called.’

“That evening, I watched football. The next morning, around 7 a.m., our former staff member, Maureen Chigbo, called me. I said, ‘Maureen, why are you calling an old man so early?’

“I want to know what happened to Yakubu,’ she said.

‘What happened to him?’ I replied. ‘I spoke to him yesterday.’

“She didn’t go further. She had heard the news and knew I hadn’t. She didn’t want to be the one to break it.

“A few minutes later, my daughter and her husband arrived. The rest, as they say, is history. Since then, I have been trying to cope. My personal life, my office life—I leave everything in the hands of God Almighty.”

I asked Ray Ekpu: “Are you an angry man?”

“Who am I going to be angry with? God? You can’t be angry with God. God has done well for us. In a country where people die from minor ailments and life expectancy is 56, Dan lived to be 81. I am happy for him—for what he did in journalism and writing.

“Yakubu died at 75. He published a book detailing his life and work. He wrote a column for more than 40 years. That is something to be thankful for. So I am not angry. Who will I be angry with? I only wish they had lived longer.”

Are you angry with death itself?

“No. It is not death that took them; it is God who decided it was time. All of us are scheduled to die. A 21-month-old child belonging to Chimamanda Adichie died in a hospital. People die at birth, at one or two years old. We are fortunate these men lived beyond three score and ten.

“We must thank God for their lives. Those of us still alive must carry their legacy forward—by doing what they would have done right, for journalism and for the family of humanity.”

In Chimamanda’s case, someone coined the phrase, ‘Nigeria has happened to her.’ Has Nigeria happened to Ray Ekpu?

“No. That expression is incorrect and negative. Nigeria has good sides and bad sides—mostly about leadership, not the country itself. Nigeria is blessed with natural resources, land, oil and gas, solid minerals, and a huge population of talented people. Look at Nollywood, music, drama, dance, social media.

“Nigeria is not a dangerous country. I don’t agree with those who say Nigeria has happened to me.”

As the last man standing, are you worried about your own death?

“It will come when it will come. Worrying will not change anything. Every day, I ask God: whatever you are keeping me for, direct me properly so I do it right—for journalism, for my family, and for the family of humanity. I have no say in when I will die.”